The “alleylon” (one another) passages in the New Testament, Part 2a: The Elusive Virtue of Humility (Rom 12:10, Phil. 2:3)

Humility must be one of the most important characteristics of the Christian life. How do I know? Because Scripture mentions it dozens and dozens of times; because it is a complex concept that people regularly misunderstand or misrepresent; and because there are countless jokes about it – most of them corny – and an equal number of quotations (sample: “You don’t need to be humble; you’re not that great”*).

In many ways, humility shares much with its fellow biblical virtues. For example, it is a.) a gift from God that is b.) naturally rather unevenly distributed. Some people carry an innate sense of modesty, gracious deference, and unselfconscious self-deprecation. And, as is obvious, humility is most fully exemplified by Jesus, the incarnate Son of God who became the ultimate servant for creatures who were undeserving and unappreciative of his sacrifice. Last, although it is naturally present in different people to varying degrees, humility is equally attainable by anyone through divine grace working in the hearts of Jesus’ disciples.

I would also propose, however, that humility is unique in that I’m not sure we can ever be very certain that we possess it. If we try to examine ourselves to find out if we do, the searching suffers from a kind of spiritual Heisenberg uncertainty principle: The more we observe humility – especially in ourselves – the more its qualities disappear. My experience is that humility feels both abstract and indefinite, something that others can say they see in us, but a character trait that becomes almost dangerous in the act of self-examination.

Fortunately – or not – as with every Christian character trait, humility finds full expression only in actions that represent internal dispositions. And, as a manifestation of love, humility is only truly active in the context of relationships, which means that we can turn to Scripture to find concrete articulation of what it looks like to be humble.

The two verses that I referenced above provide excellent benchmarks: outdo each other in showing honor; count others better than yourselves. Two typically outrageous encouragements that strike at the heart of our pride. Outdo one another in showing honor. I don’t think I’m the only one around here who loves affirmation. Sure, I feign some kind of modesty when people speak well of me; after all, my parents trained me to never boast about how great I am, however factual the reasons for adulation might be. When I turned 60, my wife threw a big birthday bash for me, complete with a time for people to talk about what a superb fellow (more than jolly good, I would have to say) I was. I have to confess two things: First, I was deeply interested in how many of the invitees would come to be part of my fête? Second, what would be the salient features of the honoring time?

In many ways, my attitudes toward my honor are natural and potentially (relatively) harmless. The problems arise when I either elevate my own worth above that of my brothers and sisters or fail to understand and acknowledge their value. In other words, do I delight (the literal meaning of the Romans text) to see others receive what I love to receive, and do I readily offer encouragement and recognition when I see the good that they are and that they do. And to go a mile or two (or maybe more like a light-year) farther, can I honor my brothers who share the same position or who have the same gifts – the guys with whom I might naturally be “in competition” if we were not sharing the yoke of discipleship together.

And one more step: Am I able to esteem and encourage what God sees and has put into others when those things are only nascent, maybe barely peeking out beyond their more evident character. Many Christians are quite expert at critical analysis and the more negative kind of evaluation. When I am engaged in such assessments of others, I tend to whitewash the activity as a simple problem-solving exercise, forgetting that God’s approach is entirely different. As the good shepherd, Jesus is always looking to nurture and make fruitful his own investment in each of his disciples. He sees us from the perspective of his greater purpose, and with an understanding of his ability to bring us to the fulfillment of that purpose.

What we come to realize is that to outdo each other in showing honor is a matter of honoring the Lord and honoring his work and call in every believer. My brothers and sisters are the objects of the Father’s affection, love, and care. He protects them with his mercy; he lavishes his gifts on them; he works mightily toward achieving every good destiny that he has for them; he glorifies himself in them by displaying his transforming power in their lives. This is the overwhelming feature of how God relates to his children, and it is often in direct conflict with the way we relate to them.

One of the things that I am seeing more clearly is how much the Spirit is the encourager, the advocate, the one who blesses. A few years ago I took about eighteen months to study Paul’s second Letter to the Corinthians. What I knew about the church in Corinth is that I would not have put myself forward to take a pastoral position there. I can’t imagine a better poster child for dysfunction. There was spiritual and moral disorder of vintage proportions – a body of believers who imbibed the ethos of the surrounding culture to the detriment of their relationships and their witness.

So when Paul confronts such an environment and the ongoing division, immorality, and chaos, we might expect an extended riot act. And while Paul doesn’t spare the Corinthians in clearly laying out where they have gone off the rails, he spends much more of his time calling them to the high purpose for which they existed. Paul has the Father’s vision, and he is a true pastor to a church whom the Lord wants to prosper, for his glory, of course, but also for his sheer delight in their good. Our temptation is to ferret out what is awry and to dwell there, or to at least allow what is imperfect or blemished to color our essential view of others.

So my prayer is that I can see Christ in you; you as God has made you and as he intends you to be; you as the Father has loved you and raised you up as his own; you as honorable for who you are and for your destiny; you as gifted and fruitful in the Spirit. The Father has honored us by giving himself to us and us to each other; his glory and honor only increase when we find grace in him to say yes to raising our estimation of the saints in the land.

Next week we’ll tackle the other humility verse from Philippians 2:3 – after all, we’ll need at least the next seven days to learn this honoring thing.

*attributed to Golda Meir